.Publisher's Keep in mind: The adhering to is the message of a letter from Exploration Three Leader Frank L. Culbertson (Captain, USN Retired), reflecting on the activities of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I have not created quite about specifics of the goal in the course of the month I have actually been below, primarily for pair of main reasons: the 1st being that there has actually been actually incredibly little bit of opportunity to accomplish that type of creating, and furthermore, due to the fact that I'm uncertain just how relaxed I am actually discussing thought and feelings I provide family and friends along with the rest of the planet.Well, undoubtedly the world transformed today. What I state or even perform is really minor compared to the significance of what occurred to our country today when it was attacked through ... by whom? Revolutionaries is all we know, I reckon. Hard to recognize at whom to point our anger as well as concern ...I had actually merely finished a lot of tasks today, the absolute most time-consuming being the physical examinations of all workers participants. In a personal discussion observing that, the air travel surgeon told me they were actually having a very bad day on the ground. I had no tip ...He illustrated the circumstance to me as absolute best he knew it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was actually made speechless, at that point horrified. My initial thought was actually that this had not been a real talk, that I was actually still paying attention to some of my Tom Clancy strips. It merely failed to seem to be feasible on this scale in our nation. I couldn't also imagine the particulars, also before the information of further devastation began can be found in.Vladimir visited quite swiftly, sensing that one thing quite serious was actually being explained. I swung Michael in to the component too. They were actually additionally impressed and stunned. After we authorized off, I tried to detail to Vladimir and also Michael as ideal I could possibly the potential size of this act of terror in downtown New york and at the Government. They accurately knew and also were really compassionate.I eyed the Globe Map on the pc to observe where over the globe our team were and also saw that our company were actually coming southeast out of Canada and will be skipping New England in a handful of minutes. I zipped around the terminal until I discovered a window that would give me a perspective of New York City as well as nabbed the nearby video camera. It took place to become a video camera, as well as I was actually appearing south coming from the home window of Michael's log cabin.The smoke seemed to have an odd flower to it at the base of the column that was streaming south of the area. After reading one of the news articles our experts simply got, I believe we were considering NY around the time of, or not long after, the crash of the 2nd tower. How dreadful ...I panned the video camera all along the East Coastline to the south to view if I could observe some other smoke around Washington, or even anywhere else, yet nothing was visible.It was pretty hard to consider work after that, though our company possessed some to carry out, however on the next track our experts went across the US more southern. All three people were working one or two cams to try to obtain sights of The big apple or even Washington. There was fog over Washington, but no details resource might be observed. All of it appeared extraordinary from a couple of hundred miles away. I can't imagine the heartbreaking settings on the ground.Aside from the psychological effect of our nation being attacked and lots of our citizens and also possibly some friends being eliminated, the absolute most overwhelming emotion being where I am actually is one of solitude.Upcoming day ... I presume the tiredness and also emotional pressure acquired the most ideal of me. I could not keep awake and also continue to compose. Today was actually still difficult, yet our experts started acquiring additional info, plus our team possessed the honor of talking straight along with the Center Director, Roy Estess, that assured our team that the ground staffs would certainly continue to operate and ensure our safety and security, in addition to the secure operation of the Place. Our company also talked to our Supervisor, Mr. Goldin, that incorporated that the companions in the Course are all totally devoted to continuing risk-free procedures and also assistance. These were never ever questions for me. I know all these people! The ground groups have been surprisingly supportive, very understanding of the effect of the updates, as well as have actually made an effort to become as helpful as feasible. They have actually all been really specialist as well as focused though I can't envision the disturbance of this particular kind of information can be found in and also the thought and feelings that government structures may be in jeopardy. They never skipped a beat, also when relocating nerve center. And a group of elderly personnel and friends offered our company a pretty complete instruction on what was actually understood as well as what was actually being actually done in the authorities as well as at NASA on Tuesday afternoon, which was actually incredibly useful and also kind of all of them to carry out in the middle of all the chaos. The Russian TsUP has additionally been helpful as well as handy, trying to uplink newspaper article when our own possessions were inoperable, and saying kind terms ...My crewmates have been excellent, also. They recognize it's been actually a hard day for me as well as the folks on the ground, and they've made an effort to become as even keeled and also handy as possible. Michael even corrected me my preferred Borscht soup for supper. And also they provide me plenty of space to presume when I needed it. They are actually quite understanding as well as of course outraged at whoever would certainly perform this.I recognize plenty of folks in Washington, a lot of folks that take a trip to DC and also NYC, numerous that are actually pilots, that I really felt sure I would certainly obtain at least a handful of pieces of problem over the upcoming few times. I acquired the first one today when I discovered that the Leader of the American Airlines plane that attacked the Government was Chic Burlingame, a classmate of mine. I found Chic throughout plebe summer months when our experts remained in the D&B with each other, and our company possessed great deals of courses with each other. I can not picture what he needs to of experienced, as well as right now I hear that he may have climbed additionally than we can easily also think of through possibly avoiding his airplane from being the one to attack the White Residence. What an awful loss, yet I'm sure Chic was battling bravely throughout. And also rips do not circulate the very same precede ...It is actually complicated to illustrate just how it experiences to be the only United States entirely off the world at once including this. The feeling that I ought to exist with every one of you, managing this, aiding somehow, is mind-boggling. I recognize that our team are on the limit (or past) of a dreadful change in the past of the globe. Numerous things will definitely certainly never be the same once again after September 11, 2001. Not only for the 1000s and also countless individuals straight affected through these horrendous actions of terrorism, but probably for everybody. We are going to discover our own selves feeling differently regarding dozens of points, consisting of perhaps area expedition, unfortunately.It is actually awful to view smoke cigarettes putting from wounds in your personal country from such a great viewpoint. The duality of performing a space probe committed to improving everyday life on the planet as well as checking out lifestyle being actually destroyed through such witting, horrible acts is actually jolting to the subconscious, no matter that you are actually. And also the know-how that whatever are going to be different than when our company introduced due to the time our company land is a little bit of disconcerting. I have confidence in our country and also in our leadership that we will certainly perform everything achievable to much better defend her and also our family members, as well as to bring compensation wherefore has been done. I have peace of mind that the excellent people at NASA will definitely carry out every thing needed to proceed our purpose securely and also return our company carefully at the right time. And also I overlook all of you quite. I can't be there with you personally, and our company possess a long way to go to complete our objective, however be specific that my center is with you, as well as understand you remain in my prayers.Humbly, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An improve to the final character ... The good news is, it's been actually an active full week up right here. As well as to verify that, like our country, our team are actually continuing our planned path along with service as usual (as long as achievable). Tonight the most recent add-on to the place, the Russian Docking Compartment are going to be released coming from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Saturday night (US time), it will dock with our team, at a port never ever utilized prior to on the nadir edge of the Solution Component. This brand-new element will definitely offer us one more place to dock a Progression or even Soyuz as well as will certainly offer a huge airlock along with pair of able to be used hatches for administering EVA's in Russian Orlan matches, which we will do a few of prior to our company get home.The complication before in taking care of this week was actually insufficient updates. The concern right now is too much. It arrived simultaneously when email was actually brought back, and also there's insufficient time to read everything! Plus it is actually too difficult to take care of all of it at the same time. However I value getting it, and I actually cherish the great characters of help as well as companionship I am receiving.Our team are succeeding on board, obtaining our job performed, and speaking about factors. Last evening our company had a lengthy dialogue over dinner about the implication of these events, the achievable actions to follow, and what must be carried out. After supper, Michael made a point of informing me that every email he acquired coming from friends in Russia mentioned specifically to inform me how regretful they were that this taken place, stretching their acknowledgements, as well as talking to how I was doing. Vladimir taught me the Russian term for "condolences" after talking to the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Star City. (Both the Russian and the English words are actually considerably extremely long to verbalize effortlessly.) Incredibly types folks.For the last pair of times, the Russian MCC has actually been good enough to send real-time broadcasts of broadcast news regarding the event and connected stories, to ensure I was well informed. Every professional who has come on free throw line to talk about a procedure or even an issue has at some factor expanded introductions to me with kind phrases. Tonight the Russian capcom told us that due to the big day of recognition in the United States, all the time folks had been actually bringing florals and lining all the walls of the United States embassy in Moscow, as well as this evening they were actually lighting candles in the street outside the consulate. Just how the planet has changed.Folks just about everywhere seem to identify the senselessness as well as scary within this assault. As well as the enormous loss. Moscow has dealt with these kind of problems in the last few years with home as well as subway bombings, so they are as anxious to remove this risk as our company are actually. Yet all-time low line is that there are actually good folks just about everywhere who want to stay in tranquility. I check out that a kid talked to, "United States is actually so great to other countries, our experts always help everyone, just how can they detest us a lot?".I wish the example of participation and trust fund that this space capsule plus all individuals in the course illustrate daily are going to someday encourage the remainder of the planet to function similarly. They must!However, our team won't be actually flighting over the United States while individuals are actually igniting candles. Do not know if our company could view that in any case. Our team performed, nonetheless, find a really uncommon and also beautiful sight a handful of mins ago: the launch of our Docking Chamber on a Soyuz enhancer. Our company were surpassing it and also it appeared about 3 mins after its own launch coming from Baikonur as the sunshine attacked our terminal, so it was still at night. It resembled a large comet along with a directly, large rear silhouetted against the dark world under. In spite of some poor lighting for some time as the sun attacked our window at a reduced position, I took care of some video recording of it as to begin with our company passed the rocket, and afterwards enjoyed it begin to catch up as it got height and also rate. I recorded until main engine deadline as well as enhancer separation happened equally our experts moved toward sunup on the Himalayas. A remarkable view in an unforgettable full week ...Life happens, even in space. Our team are actually listed here to stay ... Frank.